You know when you're arguing with Martha, and she's able to shut you down after a great two hour run? You have no comeback for her latest shutdown. But then, at night, you suddenly wake up in a cold sweat and say AHA! That's what I should have said! Take that, Martha! But it doesn't matter anymore, because your argument was two weeks ago and it's long forgotten? You don't? Oh, okay. Us either. Here are the Marthas of the world who don't dwell on things for two weeks, because they made their best comebacks in the first place.
And talk about using your head! When you need to charge your phone, but your cord isn't long enough, you've gotta get creative. It sure beats paying $99 for a half inch longer iPhone cord! You gotta do what you gotta do. And maybe next time the designers could put the cords a little bit lower.
Bacon makes everything taste better, which is a pretty undisputed fact in America. That is, unless you're a vegetarian. Then you kind of just live a sad, un-bacon filled life.
Unless you're married to this guy. This guy doesn't care that you're vegetarian. He wants to tempt you to the dark side, where things taste better. Once you get a taste of bacon, there's really no going back. Maybe she just won't brush her teeth anymore? Then the joke would be on him.
Be careful what you wish for, they say. We'd wish for less passive aggressive neighbors. Seriously, we know dandelions are weeds, but who really has a problem with dandelions? Everyone knows they give you a wish. So the more dandelions, the more wishes. If they're going to do anything about the dandelions on their lawn, they should grow more.