Mark Twain famously said that "If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter." Actually, a lot of people are credited with this quote, which is sort of confusing, but that's besides the point. We're going to pretend it was good ol' Mark.
Basically, he's saying that editing takes a lot of time. It's pretty easy to just word vomit all over the place and meet your word count, but it's much harder to make something short and concise that conveys that same point.
Yeah, we're looking at you, professors who made us write to a certain amount of pages.
I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy there’s somebody on my bed.”
First of all, this picture alone is freaking me out. It's very possible that I'll be sleeping with a nightlight on tonight, and check under the bed before sleeping.
But say there is something under the bed? What do you do then? Oh, man. I'm not sleeping tonight at all. Sweet.
"Years ago, a lone chair appeared in the center of the basement, and no matter how many times I put it back in the corner it always found a way back to the center. It took a long time to realize it was positioned underneath the kitchen, almost like someone had taken a seat at the dinner table with the rest of us."
I don't know why this person kept on putting the chair in the corner and not where it belonged — in a dumpster in the next town over!
"I can’t move, breathe, speak or hear and it’s so dark all the time. If I knew it would be this lonely, I would have been cremated instead."
That was chilling, but it also reads like a commercial for cremation services. "Hello, I'm Linda, for Cremation.com. If I knew the afterlife was so lonely, I would have opted to be put in a vase on my family's mantle!"
"Growing up with cats and dogs, I got used to the sounds of scratching at my door. Now that I live alone, it is much more unsettling."
I always assumed that all ghosts were humans, but now that I think about it, ghost cats totally make sense. They run around, knock things over in the middle of the night and make weird noises. Meow-thew Purry, is that you?